BECKY IVORY, LAMFT - MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST



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5/26/2020

A Whole New Puzzle

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Some people love puzzles. It calms them as they search for just the right home for a small piece of paperboard, specially cut into interlocking pieces. There is something satisfying about that moment when your eyes lock onto a potential hole, your hands turn the homeless piece here and there and then suddenly, everything aligns and your previously lonely piece finally belongs perfectly.
 
If you’re like me, you might rely on the box-face to help you know what the puzzle is supposed to look like. Propped in front of me like a GPS map, I am constantly comparing colors, shapes, and sizes. I know what the end result is supposed to look like, and I work to conform my work to the vision that has been created for me.
 
Throughout our lives, we are constantly searching for how the various pieces of our selves fit into the great plan that has been set before us…the overall vision for how our life is supposed to look if we are to be successful…if we are to be happy. From the beginning, that picture that we are striving to recreate we often created from well-meaning parents, teachers, friends, and society itself. And from as early as we can remember, we have been working build that vision, piece-by-piece. But is the picture on the box really the image we want to conform to?
 
Sometimes, God hands us a new piece. It doesn’t usually take long to realize that this particular piece doesn’t seem to fit the picture of our lives that we have always held. The colors are more vibrant. The shapes are unknown to us. But the pictures captures our heart and takes our breath away. Could our lives really look like THIS?
 
It is at this point that many strive to take this God-given piece and fit it into the current constructs of their lives. “I can take this new piece and make it fit into my current picture.” But try as you might, the two visions will never merge. When God hands us a new vision for our lives, it often requires a mighty change.

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In order to harmonize ourselves with our new God-given vision for ourselves, we may need to change the people we surround ourselves with. We may need to change the expectations we have for ourselves. We may need to throw out the old ideas of who we are and what our lives were supposed to look like. We replace limiting beliefs with unlimited truths. We throw away our perceived limitations and walk towards an open horizon. We walk away from our fears and toward a vision of faith.
 
It won’t be easy. The picture on the old box will pop into your mind a thousand times a day. But as you gently slide that vision to the side and continue to focus on the God-given vision for your life, you will find yourself energized and excited as you see yourself actually creating a whole new puzzle.

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    After decades of my life being centered around food, I finally started to realize that I did not have a food management problem. In all actuality, I had an emotion management problem.  - Becky Ivory

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