Choose Better Friends

I remember as a child wondering if we could eat in Heaven. If we couldn’t, I had no interest in going. After all, I didn’t want to leave my best friend behind.
 
The more I progress through Intuitive Eating, the more I understand the role that emotions have come to play in my relationship with food. Whether I was filling an empty soul when I came home to an empty house after school each day, numbing the fear that I might truly be worthless, or filling the hours of boredom with something “exciting”, food was always there as my constant companion…my best friend. The problem was, I didn’t know my friend was killing me.
 
It was killing me emotionally and spiritually. It was trapping me in am emotional quicksand where every move convinced me more and more that there was something “wrong” with me…that I was worthless, powerless, and would never, ever be good enough. My “friend” turned out to be not such a great friend after all.
 
I remember being in the 5th grade and coming home from my friend Christy’s house. My mom seemed particularly irritating, and before long she gave me “lecture #4” about how I wasn’t such a nice person when I came home from Melanie’s house (names have been changed to protect the guilty. Mom didn’t think Christy was a very good friend and started making her list of suggestions for who she thought my friends “should” be.
 
I didn’t want to admit she was right…but she was. Melanie later walked down a dark path and I was grateful that I had heeded my mom’s advise. How did I do that? I started to replace the time I spent with Melanie with other people who made me feel better about myself when I was with them. Before long, my mom could stand me again as I was back to being more respectful at home.
 
Replacing food as my “friend” has been pretty much the same process. I have chosen to spend less time with food and more time dealing with my emotions; less time with food and more time working towards my dreams; less time with food and more time working on my relationships. In short, I have found other activities and beliefs to replace the old, and sure enough, over time, I have come to feel better about myself when I’m with them.
 
I can now say I’ve made peace with food, and it has once again become my friend. This time it is a true friend…one that is focused on giving my life pleasure, health, energy, and peace; a friend that leaves me with no regrets when I have spent time with it. I am more kind and loving to the people in my life, and more kind and loving to myself.
 
I’m so grateful for the process of learning how to truly choose better friends.

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