BECKY IVORY, LAMFT - MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST



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10/9/2018

The Fight Bred Out of Them...

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The Fight Bred Out of Them...

My husband never could completely rid himself of his small-town DNA, and as a result we owned chickens for several years. Of all the animals you can raise in the suburbs, I believe chickens to be among the easiest. You keep them fed and watered, and clean out their coop every few weeks, and in exchange, they give you nice, fresh eggs every day.
 

One-Minute Faith Hack

Everyone in the family took turns gathering the eggs, from Ken to the youngest child. It was an easy job: Walk outside. Lift the hatch. Pick up eggs. Done.  So I never could quite understand why every time we went out of town, my mother would make a big point of announcing that she would watch the dog, but was NOT about to gather our eggs.
 
Finally, after some investigating, I learned that she had grown up with chickens back in the 40s, and gathering eggs had been more of a war game than a chore. Protective hens sat on their eggs and defended them from intruders, and she was the intruder. They pecked and scratched and made gathering eggs a terrifying experience for many a grown-up, let alone a little girl.
 
I wondered why our chickens didn’t fight to protect their eggs like my mother’s chickens had. Our chickens didn’t even stick around to keep their eggs warm most of the time. And if one did happen to decide it was time to play house, that was easily cured with some ice water on her backside.
 
When my husband asked a local farmer about this, we learned that as the egg farming industry has grown, the instinct to fight and protect their eggs has actually been bred out of chickens to make the egg gathering easier. As a chicken owner, I was grateful, though Mom still wouldn’t be caught dead near our chicken coop. But I had to wonder…how much is this like us?
 
Often, when we are young, we have lots of big dreams…loads of determination…a large store of "fight" in us. But through the years as our dreams are met with obstacles and our determination is faced with disappointment, we seem to have had the fight bred out of us. Our faith has been replaced with fear.
 
But we are not chickens. We can determine our own destiny. It is never too late to keep fighting for our dreams. Each day is a new day, and I have learned that fears can actually be transformed into the faith we need to keep moving toward our goals!
 
I have no desire to put the fight back in the chickens. But I do have a passion for putting the fight back in you. Let’s get back on the nest, look life square in the eyes, and dare the world to just try to take our dreams from us again. ​
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    After decades of my life being centered around food, I finally started to realize that I did not have a food management problem. In all actuality, I had an emotion management problem.  - Becky Ivory

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