There are times in one's life, that change you forever. In my experience, these are not grandiose moments, worthy of media coverage. They are not noised to the world in any way. At least for me, they have been quiet, earth-shattering moments, that have changed my heart forever. And at those moments, no one in the world knew I was a different person forevermore...except for me. 

One such moment came when I was a freshman in college. I had been sexually abused by a teacher since midway through my 9th grade year and had been too weak...too naive...to afraid of abandonment to do anything about it. But as I grew and matured, and began finding my own voice, I knew I could not live another day as things were. It would change, or I would die trying. 

That was the first time I ever went to my bishop for help. I was beyond terrified. I feared my life, as I knew it, would end. But the misery I had lived with for four years compelled me to move forward...to do whatever it took. I cannot adequately describe what happened in that meeting. I was probably in his office for less than an hour. But when I walked outside of that church building and headed for my car, I was a changed human being. Completely and utterly changed. I felt peace I had not known in many years. I felt strength I didn't know was possible. And I knew that I would never allow myself to be taken advantage of again. 

In the October 1985 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, then-Elder Ezra Taft Benson made a statement that I surely didn't understand at the time, but in time would become one of my favorite quotes. Why? Because I lived it. He said, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." (Ezra Taft Benson, Conference Report, October 1985, pp. 5-6)

Once I walked out of that church that night, I was never molested again. Why? It certainly wasn't because this teacher had changed. She had not. And she did all in her power to manipulate me for several months. Did it work? It did not. In fact, I was so strengthened by the Lord's spirit, that I was able to stand strong, even at steep costs. For the first time in my life, I was willing to stand 100% alone. 

How could my life be changed in one hour? How could I change from being completely manipulatable to standing like a rock? Because in that hour, I was filled with the knowledge of His love. I knew of my own worth. I saw a better life for myself. In short, the Lord took the slum out of Becky Ivory. After that, it was practically easy to take myself out of the slum. I knew I didn't belong there in the first place. My very nature had been changed. 

If you find yourself living in the slums of life, my best advise to you is to stop focusing on the outside, and let the Savior of the World begin to work on your from the inside out. Be willing to do whatever He asks, and I know that He will show you the light and brilliance and beauty that is you. He will take the slums out of you, and you, in turn, will find yourself with the strength, the courage, and the light, to finally take yourself out of the slums. 

I grew up with what today is known as “anxiety”. Back in the 70s, I had never even heard the word, but from as far back as I can remember, I was always walking on eggshells. Always afraid of being rejected, I tried to be perfect in everything I said and did. Knowing that I was horribly far away from my goal of perfection, I was constantly filled with the fear that I would never, ever be “good enough”…whatever that means.
 
A wise therapist once told me, “anxiety is caused by inaccurate expectations.” How right he was! ​I wrongly expected that I could be perfect. And yet we know that no mortal has ever been perfect on this earth, and no one is going to be perfect in the future either. Expecting the impossible is the perfect recipe for anxiety.
 
In my fear, I found myself constantly asking the question, what if? What if I mess it up? What if they don’t like me? What if I make the wrong decision? What if my best intentions fail? With that type of questioning, it’s no wonder I felt frozen with fear at times…afraid to move forward at all. I knew that fear was a recipe for disaster. I wanted to be positive but I just didn’t know how to turn it around.
 
Over the years I’ve learned that “what if” is actually the perfect question to ask if you want to live a positive life. The trick is to ask it while looking forward to all of the positive things that could be in store. What if I’m successful? What if I can make a new friend at this event? What if this step is the breakthrough I’ve been waiting for? What if tonight I go to bed realizing how blessed I really am?
 
“What if” can be the catalyst for positive thoughts, which can lead to positive actions, which can lead to positive outcomes.
 
So the next time you find yourself “what if-ing” yourself into a frenzy, try turning the negative around and practice imagining all of the things that could go right in your day today. It’s a powerful way to introduce yourself into the world of the peaceful…the joyous…and the world of success!