It’s a simple piece of equipment that the exercise physiologist gave my husband to strengthen his core and support his overly-aged back. Knowing my core was a bit on the flabby side, I decided to join him on his journey. Using the pressure monitor, we performed various core strengthening exercises that used muscles we didn’t know we had.
The instructions stated that we were not to move on to the next exercise until we had mastered doing the previous one with precise form. In only a few days we mastered exercise #1 and moved on to #2. Ken quickly progressed through exercises #3 and returned for more instruction, while I continued to feel like a newborn giraffe learning to walk.
When he arrived home, he began showing me the next exercises in my future, when suddenly I found myself feeling angry, hopeless, and wanting to give up.  “What the heck is going on?” I thought to myself. “There’s nothing wrong. Why am I feeling this way?” Within just a few short minutes, I felt ready to throw in the towel. “I’ll never get any better. I’m doomed to be fat and out-of-shape. Why even bother?” Luckily for me, I am well-rehearsed in A-B-C-D journaling so I grabbed my handy notebook and scriptures, and went out to the living room to process my emotions.
It didn’t take long to recognize some of the old thought distortions that had taken over my mind…old beliefs that I thought I had banished for good. As I recognized and challenged those old beliefs once again, I could see how I was comparing myself and my progress to someone else. I was expecting years of inactivity and poor choices to be reversed in a matter of days…or at least weeks!
Clearly seeing my distorted beliefs, I was now free to replace them once again with the truth: I am not competing with anyone else. Consistency compounds. Enjoy the journey! Already, I was feeling at peace once again.
Then I opened my scriptures. Would you be surprised if I told you that there on the page was a direct message from my Heavenly Father? Would you be even more surprised if I told you that He sent that message through His servant, Isaiah?
“Awake, awake, put on thy strength…Put on thy beautiful garments…for henceforth there shall no more come into thee the uncircumcised and the unclean. Shake thyself from the dust; arise, sit down…loose thyself from the bands of thy neck, O captive daughter of Zion.”
I was reminded once again that we are all daughters and sons of God. That makes us royalty. With the Lord, we are strong, even when we feel weak. Sometimes we find ourselves lying in the dust, chains about our neck, captive to the will of the flesh or the beliefs of the world.
Today is the perfect time to awake…to not allow unclean thoughts and beliefs to enter our minds any longer. It is time to stand up, shake off the dust, break the chains that have bound us, and take our place as rightful heirs to the blessings of God.
Because you’re human, I know that you have distorted beliefs about yourself. I know there are times when you believe you aren’t worth it…that you will never succeed…that all is hopeless. We all do. My hope for you is that you will learn how to recognize, challenge, and replace those thoughts. Awake! Don’t allow lies into your head any longer. Arise! Don’t wallow in the dust like captives to the beliefs of the world.  You are a child of God. Come. Arise, and take your proper place.

 Oftentimes, people ask me how I got into public speaking and coaching. It’s a hard question to answer. The short answer is, I realized that there are many out there who need to know they are not alone, their worth has never changed, and they can come through their challenges having greater peace and faith than they ever thought possible. So I shared.
 
The things I have learned on this journey have shaped why and how I see the world, and if they can help make the journey of others more peaceful, why wouldn’t I share? Some of these lessons include: the importance to teach our children leadership skills, self-confidence, how to speak up for your needs, how to work through anxiety, and how to find peace with food, just to name a few. I’ve also learned that while our challenges are all different, the lessons we need to learn are very often the same. That’s how speaking and coaching became my passion.
 
Today, I share with you a link to a podcast interview I did this past week where I was asked to share my story of overcoming childhood sexual abuse.  Given that at least 1 in 10 children are sexually abused before reaching the age of 18, I imagine that it might be of help to you, whether you were a victim, or if it has impacted someone you love.  Please feel free to share with any whom you think would benefit.
 
As always, feel free to reach out to me if I can ever be of service to you.

​Listen to the podcast HERE. 
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Hi Friends! 
I hope you are holding up OK during all of this Coronavirus craziness! I just wanted to share with you how I strive to hear Him during these challenging times. I hope it helps. 
​Love, Becky Ivory

​I love being a motivational speaker. There is nothing better than sharing your stories…your insights…and learning that it has changed someone else’s life. I also love listening to other motivational speakers. I have found them not only on stages, but in church’s, diners, and people’s very own kitchens. I have found motivation and inspiration from many people, and one of my favorites was a woman named Kris Belcher.
 
Kris was diagnosed with cancer in both of her eyes as a young child and finally lost her eyesight completed as an adult. As a mom with two young children, she was understandably devastated at the loss of her sight. Kris has the gift of finding the gift in almost anything, and one of her stories has never been forgotten.
 
She was sharing how she learned to navigate walking busy city streets by herself. Of course, she learned to use a cane, and listen for the sounds of traffic and crossing lights. But one of the ways she can tell what direction she is facing is by determining where she feels the sun on her face. By determining what time it is and where the sun would be, she can use the warmth on her face to determine what direction she is facing. Ever the motivator, she told us she can also know what direction she is facing in her spiritual life by where she feels the Son…meaning, the Son of God.
 
 Often at this time of year, we are focused on our physical health. How much weight do we want to lose this year? What size will we be by our birthday? How many races will we run? Those can all be worthy goals for the right reason at the right time. But I wonder how many of us are as focused on our spiritual health?
 
Do you know where the Son is? Do you feel His warmth in your heart? Do you check your direction by if you feel Him present? Or is He an afterthought? Do you rely on your own eyes and ears to tell you if you’re going in the right direction?
 
May we lift our face to Him as we seek the directions we are to take. May we make Him our compass in the coming year. May we actively seek to discern where exactly we feel the Son. 

There are times in one's life, that change you forever. In my experience, these are not grandiose moments, worthy of media coverage. They are not noised to the world in any way. At least for me, they have been quiet, earth-shattering moments, that have changed my heart forever. And at those moments, no one in the world knew I was a different person forevermore...except for me. 

One such moment came when I was a freshman in college. I had been sexually abused by a teacher since midway through my 9th grade year and had been too weak...too naive...to afraid of abandonment to do anything about it. But as I grew and matured, and began finding my own voice, I knew I could not live another day as things were. It would change, or I would die trying. 

That was the first time I ever went to my bishop for help. I was beyond terrified. I feared my life, as I knew it, would end. But the misery I had lived with for four years compelled me to move forward...to do whatever it took. I cannot adequately describe what happened in that meeting. I was probably in his office for less than an hour. But when I walked outside of that church building and headed for my car, I was a changed human being. Completely and utterly changed. I felt peace I had not known in many years. I felt strength I didn't know was possible. And I knew that I would never allow myself to be taken advantage of again. 

In the October 1985 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, then-Elder Ezra Taft Benson made a statement that I surely didn't understand at the time, but in time would become one of my favorite quotes. Why? Because I lived it. He said, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." (Ezra Taft Benson, Conference Report, October 1985, pp. 5-6)

Once I walked out of that church that night, I was never molested again. Why? It certainly wasn't because this teacher had changed. She had not. And she did all in her power to manipulate me for several months. Did it work? It did not. In fact, I was so strengthened by the Lord's spirit, that I was able to stand strong, even at steep costs. For the first time in my life, I was willing to stand 100% alone. 

How could my life be changed in one hour? How could I change from being completely manipulatable to standing like a rock? Because in that hour, I was filled with the knowledge of His love. I knew of my own worth. I saw a better life for myself. In short, the Lord took the slum out of Becky Ivory. After that, it was practically easy to take myself out of the slum. I knew I didn't belong there in the first place. My very nature had been changed. 

If you find yourself living in the slums of life, my best advise to you is to stop focusing on the outside, and let the Savior of the World begin to work on your from the inside out. Be willing to do whatever He asks, and I know that He will show you the light and brilliance and beauty that is you. He will take the slums out of you, and you, in turn, will find yourself with the strength, the courage, and the light, to finally take yourself out of the slums. 

I grew up with what today is known as “anxiety”. Back in the 70s, I had never even heard the word, but from as far back as I can remember, I was always walking on eggshells. Always afraid of being rejected, I tried to be perfect in everything I said and did. Knowing that I was horribly far away from my goal of perfection, I was constantly filled with the fear that I would never, ever be “good enough”…whatever that means.
 
A wise therapist once told me, “anxiety is caused by inaccurate expectations.” How right he was! ​I wrongly expected that I could be perfect. And yet we know that no mortal has ever been perfect on this earth, and no one is going to be perfect in the future either. Expecting the impossible is the perfect recipe for anxiety.
 
In my fear, I found myself constantly asking the question, what if? What if I mess it up? What if they don’t like me? What if I make the wrong decision? What if my best intentions fail? With that type of questioning, it’s no wonder I felt frozen with fear at times…afraid to move forward at all. I knew that fear was a recipe for disaster. I wanted to be positive but I just didn’t know how to turn it around.
 
Over the years I’ve learned that “what if” is actually the perfect question to ask if you want to live a positive life. The trick is to ask it while looking forward to all of the positive things that could be in store. What if I’m successful? What if I can make a new friend at this event? What if this step is the breakthrough I’ve been waiting for? What if tonight I go to bed realizing how blessed I really am?
 
“What if” can be the catalyst for positive thoughts, which can lead to positive actions, which can lead to positive outcomes.
 
So the next time you find yourself “what if-ing” yourself into a frenzy, try turning the negative around and practice imagining all of the things that could go right in your day today. It’s a powerful way to introduce yourself into the world of the peaceful…the joyous…and the world of success!

Google estimates that there are 552,000 therapists in the United States. That seems about right, as I’ve kept a handful of them busy throughout my adulthood. I’m sure I’ve paid off more than one student loan in my quest to correct the thinking errors I accumulated throughout my life. Do I mind? Not at all. God bless therapists!
 
In all of my years sitting on office coaches, sometimes with a tissue in one hand and a notebook in the other, I’ve heard a lot of valuable words. Words like boundaries, transference, cognitive, and subconscious have become a part of my vocabulary. But by far, my most favorite word I’ve ever learned in therapy is next.
 
You see, no matter what has happened to you in your past…no matter what you’ve seen, heard, felt, or done, it is all in the past. This does not mean we cannot learn from it. Indeed, I believe it is crucial that we do in order to avoid repeating those patterns in the future. But it does not mean we have to continue to live in the past.
 
When old beliefs of failure, inadequacy, or powerlessness arise in our minds, we can simply recognize them, acknowledge that they are there, realize that those are feelings we used to feel and beliefs we used to believe, and then choose to move on to live the life that is before us now. Like a Broadway director sifting through singers in an audition, we can brush aside unwanted beliefs with a strong and resolute, “Next?”  
 
Because there is a “next”! Our past doesn’t have to equal our future. Being powerless as a child does not resign us to be powerless adults. Having dark, or lonely, or fearful chapters as the beginning of our story does not have to equal a sad and dismal ending? WE HAVE A CHOICE.
 
Perhaps it is time in your life to really look at the things that affected you in the past. Acknowledge that they are there…that they affected you…that they hurt and that you did not like them. It’s OK. The world won’t fall apart if you admit that your family wasn’t perfect…that you’ve made some big mistakes. Welcome to the world, my friend. All aboard! Then once you have made peace with your past, it is time to look toward the future, and declare what is perhaps the most beautiful word in the English language: “next?”

I’ve reached that age. You know…the age where you find yourself entering a room only to wonder what on earth am I doing here? The age where you forget the occasional birthday, or search for 10 minutes to find the phone…the same phone that you’ve been holding to your ear during the entire search. I don’t know if my occasional forgetfulness is a result of my natural blondeness, or a sign of aging, but I do know that it is a source of many amusing stories at our house.
 
A quick digital search of the scriptures shows that the word remember is used over 167 times in the Old Testament, 36 times in the New Testament, and more than 200 times in modern revelation found in the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. With this information, one has to ask, just what is it that the Lord is so concerned about us remembering? And why?
 
The other morning I was reading one of my favorite passages from Alma the Younger (Alma 36) and saw that it started with Alma encouraging his son Helaman to…you guessed it…remember.
“I would that ye should do as I have done, in remembering the captivity of our fathers….”
This plea to remember the captivity of our fathers appears many times in the scriptures. But why? Why would we dwell on the times when our ancestors were the most miserable…the times they struggled the most…when life just didn’t seem to be on their side? Shouldn’t we be more focused on the future? Or perhaps on the here-and-now? After all, we only have the present moment, right?
Luckily for us, Alma explains why we should always remember the captivity of our fathers as he continues: “…for they were in bondage, and none could deliver them except it was the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob; and he surely did deliver them in their afflictions.”
Alma’s charge to remember the captivity of our fathers is intended to help us remember that, though they were in the most dire of circumstances, God did not forget them. And when the timing was perfect, He did deliver them in the perfect place, and in the perfect way for them.
Imagine Moses and the Israelites backed up against the Red Sea, facing what appeared to be certain death, only to watch the seas part as they left their enemies behind. Imagine the woman who suffered with an issue of blood for many years, receiving immediate healing after exercising enough faith to simply touch the robe of Jesus. Imagine the face of a woman trapped in a life of sin and caught in the act of adultery, punishable by death, when she realizes that the Savior of the World has forgiven her and bids her sin no more.
 
God wants us to remember the captivity of our fathers so that we can remember that despite the dire circumstances they found themselves in, God did deliver them, and just as surely, He can deliver us.
In my life, I have experienced emotional bondage that lasted so long that I could not remember a time when I did not feel the shackles digging into my spiritual flesh. There have been heartaches so deep I was convinced there was no balm for my soul. There have been habits so entrenched that I felt doomed to a life of submission to practices that robbed me of joy. In short, I know, in my own way, what it means to be in bondage.
At those times, my study of the scriptures helped me hold onto my faith that this bondage was only temporary, and that despite the evidence to the contrary, God had not forgotten me. So I continued to work…to fight…to hold onto my faith.
Today, I can lift my voice with Alma in testifying that “…I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions and shall be lifted up at the last day.”
Just when I had come to the conclusion that I would have to learn to endure a life of anxiety, God gave me peace. When I feared I would never find the words to speak my truth, God restored my voice. When it seemed I would always be in the bonds of addiction, God blessed me with freedom.
Lest you think all of my problems are gone, let me assure you that there are plenty of prayers whose answers remain a mystery. But as I remember those who have come before me, and their miraculous stories of deliverance, I add them to the collection of stories that have become my own life. I remember that God is good, God is powerful, and God will continue to deliver me at just the right times and in the perfect ways, and I will yet have more stories to add to the Book of Life which is mine.
Why do we remember? We remember so that we can anticipate the hand of God to be revealed in our own lives. We look back so that we can look forward…not with fear, but with faith. In this way, we give ourselves the gift of remembering our way to faith.