Halloween this year found my husband and I flying to Chicago to help take our little granddaughter trick-or-treating. We had a great weekend at a church party, visited the children’s museum, did some shopping, and enjoyed some of our favorite Chicago pizza. As usual, it was a wonderful weekend. As we returned home a few days later, a thought popped into my mind that not only put a big smile on my face, but also surprised me. Except for a handful of candy corn the week before, I had not eaten a single piece of Halloween candy throughout the Halloween season…not because I was “being good” but because it had never even crossed my mind.
 
As a chronic binger and dieter, Halloween has always been one of those events that brought great anxiety. Either I used it as an excuse to eat with abandon, vowing to start over again on November 1st”, or I carefully planned exactly what I was “allowed” to eat, calculating calories, fat grams, or Points weeks in advance. What is supposed to be a fun holiday of costumes and children, felt more to me like a scary test which I would either “pass” or “fail” with my self-worth hanging in the balance. Some years I “failed”. Some year I “passed”. But every year I found myself obsessed with food, which caused tremendous anxiety, no matter what the outcome.
 
In the process of becoming an Intuitive Eater I have found peace with food. It is no longer a “sin” to eat some Halloween candy, nor do I have to lose weight that week to be a “saint”. Gone are the days of looking to outside sources, such as a diet, to tell me what I should or should not eat. I now trust my body to tell me that, and I’ve learned it does an amazing job.
 
I eat when I’m hungry. I choose what will truly satisfy me. I recognize when eating any more would ruin the experience by making me physically uncomfortable. I deal with my emotions rather than numbing them. I trust God more than I trust food. And all of that has restored a sense of peace with food that I never thought would happen.
 
There are many benefits to finding peace with food. The scale is working it’s way down, and that is a great blessing. But by far, the greatest blessing is the mental and spiritual peace I feel as food has taken its proper role in my life. Gone are the days of having to rebuy Halloween candy because I ate it all before the 31st. Gone are the days of obsessing over what I am allowed to eat, how I will plan my whole week around that moment, and how I’ll handle the tremendous feelings of deprivation at every party. Gone are the Russian-Roulette moments of stepping on the scale to see if I am worthy of love or respect each day.
 
I’m so grateful for the miracle in my life of being able to turn From Food to Faith, and I love my work in helping others find the same peace with food. In the beginning, it is almost impossible for my clients to believe that finding peace with food is truly possible for them. Perhaps you have come to feel the same way. But I can assure you, once you commit to the process, you will begin to see that you are not doomed to a life of being obsessed with food. Just like me, you can find peace. And that’s no trick…just a most delicious treat!

​This weekend she brought with her a completely intact crab shell, legs and all, sharing with us what she learned about crab molting. I was fascinated, as I’d never known such a thing existed, and I quickly realized that I had some molting to do myself.
 
 Molting is the process of completely shedding ones outer layer, whether it be made of skin, feathers, hair…or in the case of crabs, a shell. I had seen molting in my experience with chickens, I have touched the discarded skin of snakes at the zoo, but I had no idea that crabs could somehow wiggle even their legs and tendons out of their crusty external shell. Nor did I know that unless they do so, they will suffocate and die, rather than continue to grow.
 
How many times in my life have I felt that I absolutely must change and grow, or I would suffocate and die? That raw and emotional place before one molts is a painful place to be. For me, it usually entails knowing I cannot live another minute in my current self, but not knowing if growth is even possible…not knowing if I have the courage or strength to break out of my old shell…and if I do, how will I survive the vulnerability of waiting for my new shell to harden before I am destroyed?
 
Is there a name for the emotional angst that comes with the need to molt? Google doesn’t seem to think so. Perhaps that is because for animals it is not an emotional issue. For us humans, there are words such as anxiety, emotional discord, and cognitive dissonance, but none of those words seem to capture the emotional torture and transformation that seems to be implied in the human process of molting.
 
I have felt the anxiety of a pending molt when I knew it was time to walk away from my abuser. I felt it when I knew I must care for my health but could never diet again. I have felt it any number of times when I’ve had to leave some of the ways of the world behind to free my spirit and grow. Each time I was miserable. Each time I was terrified. And each time it was worth it.
 
The moment you finally break free from your old shell and realize that you will never go back, is nothing short of liberating! It is like you can finally take a deep breath, bend your limbs, and move without restriction. And though it takes time for your sensitive exterior to toughen up, before long you find an increased level of peace and comfort in the world that you’d forgotten was possible.  You’ve molted!
 
In your newfound joy, don’t forget that as surely as the last molting was crucial to your growth, so too will be the next. So don’t be surprised when you find yourself starting to feel a little cramped in your new emotional living space.
 
Today, I pass on Laurel’s questions to you:
 
What do you need to shed?
Is it an old, outdated view of yourself? Is it resentment, fear, or shame? Are there habits you need to leave behind or new ones to adopt? Are there people holding you back or knowledge you desperately need?
 
How do you need God to help you?
I once tried to exercise my faith that if I prayed fervently enough, God would remove my extra pounds overnight. I say “tried” because neither God, nor I, were all that surprised when it was still there in the morning. I knew that God was willing to help me, but perhaps just not in the way I wanted at the time. God is the ultimate parent. He will do nothing for us that we can do for ourselves, though He knows there is plenty that we are not capable of at the moment, and He stands ready and willing to do the heavy lifting.
 
What do you need to do to fulfill your part?
In the Doctrine and Covenants we read, “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” Which blessing do you need? What are the natural laws you will have to obey in order to receive that blessing?
 
God gave me a vision of who I really was, a booster of spiritual strength, and internal peace about my decision, but I had to be the one to physically and emotionally walk away from my abuser. When we come to accept our part of the responsibilities for the growth we are seeking…when we are finally willing to obey the law upon which it is predicated, we will in fact receive the blessing.
 
It is time, as it often is, for me to molt. I’m grateful that our loving Heavenly Father is there to provide a vision of the next step, give me strength to break my old shell, and courage to be vulnerable as my new shell hardens. I am grateful, once again, for the process of molting.