BECKY IVORY, LAMFT - MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST



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3/19/2019

Y=Yardstick

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​It’s time to discover the final step to creating an effective PLAY that will truly help us make the important changes we want to make in our lives.
 
We have already learned how to:
 
P - Prepare
L - Identify the lies, and replace them with truth
A – Identify the action steps we will take
 
The last step is Y = Yardstick. Once we’ve applied our PLAY to the situation, it’s time to measure how it went. Did the PLAY we created work? Which parts would you repeat next time? Which parts would you change? The only way we move forward is to continually learn from our experiences…both positive and challenging…and tweak our way forward to success. 

How to create an effective play: Y=Yardstick

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That’s it. Prepare, challenge the lies, determine your action steps, and evaluate your experience by measuring its level of success. NOW it’s time to start creating PLAYS of your own.
 
I am looking forward to those of you who registered for this week’s Sample From Food to Faith Group Meetings. The first one is THIS MORNING at 10am MST. The second one will be THIS THURSDAY evening at 5pm MST.
 
On this live video meeting, you will:
  • Meet others like you who are seeking peace in their relationship with food.
  • Receive personal and group coaching, specifically today on creating a PLAY to help you through one of your most challenging predictable situations.
  • Tangible tools tools to help you on your journey From Food to Faith.
  • Special pricing for those who wish to join our From Food to Faith Community now.
 
If you wish to register, it’s not too late! Click HERE.
I look forward to literally seeing you soon!
 
Your friend,
Becky 

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3/12/2019

A=Action

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​For three weeks now we have been talking about the importance of creating effective PLAYS to prepare ourselves for the predictable circumstances we find ourselves in as we move forward on our journey From Food to Faith.
 
We have already learned how to:
 
P - Prepare
L - Identify the lies, and replace them with truth
 
Today is all about the letter “A”, taking action!

Creating an effective play: A=Action

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We all know that living life with great intentions is like riding a dime-store electric horse. It may be exciting for a minute, but it will never get us anywhere. It takes ACTION to move forward.
 
We have already identified what we need to do before the event to prepare. Then we identified the limiting beliefs, or lies that tend to lead us astray, followed by their corresponding truths. Now, it’s time to identify the actions we plan to take once we are finally in the anticipated situation.
 
What will you actually do when Mom surprises you with dessert and you are already full from her amazing mashed potatoes? Will you ask to take some home and eat it for breakfast? Will you have only one bite? Will you lovingly tell her you’re full? Or will you put it on George’s plate when she’s not looking? The choices are endless, and they are your choices. Identify as many actions as you can possibly take and choose which ones you feel will work best in this situation.
 
Going into these situations armed with a specific PLAY is empowering, and greatly increases your chance of leaving that situation with peace and satisfaction, rather than the old regret we’re all too used to. ​
 
I hope you will be joining me NEXT WEEK for one of our FREE Sample Group Meetings and experience for yourself what it’s like to join a From Food to Faith group. Click HERE to register for the day and time that works for you. 

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3/5/2019

L=Lies

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​Every good football team knows you have to memorize and practice a lot of PLAYS in order to be prepared to play your very best in every game. When I help my clients make significant changes in their lives, I encourage them to create their own PLAYS for predictable circumstances that they will find themselves in over and over again.
 
The four steps to creating an effecting PLAY include:
 
P - Prepare
L - Identify the lies
A – Action
Y - Yardstick

How to Create an effective play: LIES

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​Today, we’re learning about the second step in building an effective play, and that is using our “L”, which stands for “lies.” What are the lies, or limiting beliefs that you tend to believe in that situation that make it difficult for you to follow through on your goals.
 
For example, maybe Sunday dinner at Mom’s house is difficult because she makes all of your childhood favorites, complete with dessert, and you usually end up eating way past full and leaving with regrets.
 
Some of the lies you might be buying into could be:
  • “If I don’t eat this all right now, I’ll never get it again…or at least for a long time.”
  • “The more of this ‘comfort’ food I can get in me, the more ‘comfort’ I will feel.
  • “Mom worked so hard to make this, it would be rude to not eat it all.”
Once we examine the lies floating around our heads, it’s important to take a second and challenge those lies, and identify the truths associated with each one:
  • “Mom has been making this for 30 years. I’m pretty sure she’ll make it again sometime, or I could ask her to teach me how to make it.”
  • “Eating past full is never ‘comfortable’, no matter what kind of food it is.”
  • “Mom worked so hard to make all of this, but my stomach has a limited capacity. I can take a little of everything, or even ask her to send something home with me to have later when I’m hungry again.”
 
Simply examining our own thoughts and challenging them creates space in our minds for the next step of creating an effective PLAY, which is identifying the actions we will take.  We’ll learn more about that next week.
 
I hope you will be joining me for one of our FREE Sample Group Meetings and experience for yourself what it’s like to join a From Food to Faith group. If you haven’t registered yet, click HERE. On that live, online meeting, I’ll be helping participants develop a personalized plan of their own, from start to finish! See for yourself that it IS possible to make peace with food and with yourself. It is possible to move From Food to Faith. 
Register to participate in a FREE From Food to Faith Sample Meeting HERE. 

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2/26/2019

P=Prepare

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“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” I’ve heard that quote so many times it makes me want to vomit. I also hate it because it’s true, and planning has never been my forte, at least in regards to food. And yet, I’ve learned that preparing is crucial to success. 

​Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Apparently, I’ve spent much of my life insane, but I finally realized that I was going to have to prepare for the challenges ahead if I ever wanted to reach the end zone. 
Picture
Last week we learned that, just like a championship football team, we must create PLAYs that we can practice for each predictable challenge we will face, whether we struggle to develop a healthy relationship with food, or build cohesive teams.
 
The four steps to creating an effecting PLAY include:
 
P - Prepare
L - Identify the lies
A – Action
Y - Yardstick
 
Today, let’s look at the first step to creating our PLAYS, which is Prepare.
 
Because of my husband’s profession, I often find myself at dinners where I don’t know many people, if anyone at all. The conversation topics are not always my cup of tea, and I’m tempted to use food as a way to fill my mouth, so I don’t have to talk, or to give me something to talk about. This is a predictable situation that I find myself in often, therefore, I decided to create a PLAY to help me deal with it more successfully in the future.
 
Since the first step to creating a PLAY is to prepare, I simply asked myself, what can I do ahead of time to help me make this situation as emotionally and physically satisfying as I can?
  • The first thing I can do is to make sure I attend the event at just the right level of hunger. If I’m too hungry I’ll want to devour the appetizers before dinner, or snarf all of the chicken, no matter how rubbery. (‘Cause let’s be real…the chicken is going to be rubbery….) Worse yet is when the food is delectable and I eat it so fast that I don’t even enjoy it! Coming with the right level of hunger helps ensure a much greater satisfaction experience all-around!
  • Another thing I can do to prepare is to make sure that the meals I have before that event are satisfying. If I’ve had a satisfying breakfast and lunch, I don’t feel so deprived if the dinner menu is less than desirable. Or if the menu is amazing, I don’t feel like I must lick the plate clean if most all of my meals are satisfying.
  • I like to keep a small snack in my purse for times when the food just isn’t cutting it for me. Then I don’t feel obligated to choke down the undercooked carrots, and know I can find something else I like to eat when I get home.
  • Part of preparing for a successful public dinner event is to make sure I go with the right frame of mind. As long as we’re being honest, can we admit that we usually get what we look for? If we’re certain it’s going to be a boring event, it’s likely to be. That’s why next week we’ll look at the limiting beliefs (or lies) we tend to believe about these situations and how the truth can help us undo our old conditioning that has kept us stuck in our old PLAYS all of these years.
 
Preparing is critical to meeting our challenging situations successfully, but the PLAY doesn’t end there. Next week we’ll look at how to identify the lies and limiting beliefs that threaten to hold us back.
 
Tempted to join our From Food to Faith Community? See how you can try a FREE From Food to Faith group meeting. No strings attached! 
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    After decades of my life being centered around food, I finally started to realize that I did not have a food management problem. In all actuality, I had an emotion management problem.  - Becky Ivory

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