Ask Not Amiss...

Lately, I have been memorizing 2 Nephi 4:27-35. It is part of a beautiful prayer by the prophet Nephi, who is mourning over his natural tendency to sin, despite the tremendous blessings of God which he has received.
 
This latter part of his prayer has really touched my heart in such a way that I felt a great need to memorize it, for it perfectly summarizes my own thoughts and feelings.

One-mInute Faith Hack

Verse 35 teaches a principle that I have come to know for myself. The bruises on my forehead from years of wall-banging will attest to its truthfulness. It says,
 
“I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me if I ask not amiss…”
 
There are countless times that I have asked amiss, and then wondered why God wasn’t listening. Let me share with you just one example:
 
I received the title From Food to Faith in revelation over 20 years ago, in response to my prayers asking, “What book would you want me to write someday?” When this title came to me, I knew it was true that faith would be an important part of my recovery from overeating, but in all honesty, I wasn’t sure how.
 
I already believed in God, and in His Son, Jesus Christ. I loved them. I tried daily to follow them. But they didn’t seem to have the power to keep my hands off of a second serving of cheesecake. And I asked! Trust me, I really asked.
 
I prayed for self-control. I prayed for the right diet. I prayed for help in following the right diet. I even found myself at times thinking that if could just muster the courage of that stupid mustard seed, I could wake up in the morning completely, miraculously thin and healthy. You won’t be too surprised if I tell you that it didn’t happen, would you? In fact, none of it happened. Why? Duh. I was asking amiss.
 
There is nothing wrong with wanting to find or follow a healthy diet. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get back in my Levi 501s or wishing I could “walk and not be weary.” And there is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to overcome a destructive relationship with food. So why was God seeming to ignore my prayers?
 
I now know that I was not asking the right questions. I wanted God to get rid of the symptoms of the problems. But the true problem was much deeper, and more painful and scary than I was willing to deal with.
 
This was like going to a doctor with a foreign object in my body that is causing a raging infection, and begging the doctor to “pretty-please, treat my fever, but don’t even think about touching the problem, because it would be just too painful to deal with it.” And, like a wise doctor, the Lord could only sit back, and wait for me to be willing to allow Him to remove the source of the problem.
 
For years I continued to treat the fever. Sometimes I found the right combination of medications that would keep it at bay for a day, a week, or perhaps even a month. But in the end, the infection would increase, the fever returning with a vengeance.
 
Finally, I began to realize that weight was simply the fever of my problem. I began to realize that my dress-size was only a symptom, and it was time to gather all of my courage and allow the Lord...The Great Physician, to finally touch the source of my affliction.
 
It was painful…I’m not going to lie. But it was far less painful than the fever had ever been. When I began to let The Physician do His work, things began to turn around almost immediately. I began finding little moments of peace. My relationships began to change. My trust in myself, others, and God began to strengthen and I began feeling a strength and peace in my life that I hadn’t really known was possible before.
 
Sometimes, I still find myself neglecting the real source of my problems, thinking that perhaps I am done being healed. And when I do, my temperature can begin to rise. I am not completely healed. But I have come to rely on The Physician. And when He reminds me that it is time to work on the source of the problem, I strive to listen. And He answers, every single time. I have come to know that He will always answer, when I ask not amiss. ​

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