This is one of the most powerful tools that I use and help my clients use to get to the root of emotional eating before it starts. All it takes is a little notebook, a little know how, and a little time. 
​I am confident it will help you on your journey From Food to Faith. 

It is said that an artist was once asked, “How do you plan to carve an elephant out of that large piece of marble?” to which the artist replied, “I will just start chipping off any piece that doesn’t look like an elephant.” Though this tale is unlikely true, the story does have a lot to teach us about the nature of human transformation.
 
Most of us want transformation in some way. We want to feel better, look better, or act better. We want to be more successful. We want closer relationships. In my work, I have learned that the wisest people want to transform their limiting beliefs…those thoughts that have held them back throughout their lives.  Whether you’re carving elephants, or a life of greater joy for yourself, there are some truths that never alter.
 
First and foremost, we will never create a masterpiece if we don’t have a clear picture in our mind of what it is we want to create. An artist does not begin chipping away at marble and eventually discover it looks like an elephant. They must clearly see the elephant within the marble, and every touch of the hammer and chisel will bring that elephant closer and closer to reality.
 
What is it you want? Do you want to have more peaceful relationships at home? Do you want to recognize personal revelation more clearly? Do you want to change your body, your job, or your home? First you must create a clear picture in your own mind of the future you are choosing to create. Then begin to identify which pieces don’t seem to match that vision of the life you are creating. Pick one, and start chipping away.
 
Second, elephants do not evolve from marble with large, crashing strikes of the hammer. Those who are impatient, believing that great drastic measures will get them to their destination faster, will find themselves with nothing but a pile of dust and rocks surrounding them, only to start again.
 
Personal transformation is a process of a thousand, carefully placed and executed, little steps.  It is showing up early for work and putting forth your best effort every day. It is honoring your body one meal at a time. It is working to understand before trying to be understood, one conversation at a time. No “overnight success” actually happens overnight. Just pick one rough edge that doesn’t seem to fit into your vision for yourself, and begin chipping away.
 
Lastly, don’t be surprised if others around you don’t share your vision, or believe in the process by which you are choosing to obtain that vision. Well-meaning people will give you all sorts of free advise: “That looks more like a cow. Why don’t you just change it into a cow,” or “I know a faster way you could get that done,” or “that’s taking so much time, is it really worth it?”
 
It is at times like these that you must hold onto your vision with both hands. You may have to plaster a smile to your face, put plugs in your ears and blinders on your eyes, but whatever you do, pick the next piece that doesn’t match your vision and just keep chipping away at your transformation. If you do this, your naysayers will someday say, “I had no idea this was inside of you,” “that is amazing!”, “I could never do that!” or maybe even “how do you carve an elephant out of marble?” And that is when you will peacefully declare, I simply kept chipping away at all the pieces that didn’t look like an elephant.”

Halloween this year found my husband and I flying to Chicago to help take our little granddaughter trick-or-treating. We had a great weekend at a church party, visited the children’s museum, did some shopping, and enjoyed some of our favorite Chicago pizza. As usual, it was a wonderful weekend. As we returned home a few days later, a thought popped into my mind that not only put a big smile on my face, but also surprised me. Except for a handful of candy corn the week before, I had not eaten a single piece of Halloween candy throughout the Halloween season…not because I was “being good” but because it had never even crossed my mind.
 
As a chronic binger and dieter, Halloween has always been one of those events that brought great anxiety. Either I used it as an excuse to eat with abandon, vowing to start over again on November 1st”, or I carefully planned exactly what I was “allowed” to eat, calculating calories, fat grams, or Points weeks in advance. What is supposed to be a fun holiday of costumes and children, felt more to me like a scary test which I would either “pass” or “fail” with my self-worth hanging in the balance. Some years I “failed”. Some year I “passed”. But every year I found myself obsessed with food, which caused tremendous anxiety, no matter what the outcome.
 
In the process of becoming an Intuitive Eater I have found peace with food. It is no longer a “sin” to eat some Halloween candy, nor do I have to lose weight that week to be a “saint”. Gone are the days of looking to outside sources, such as a diet, to tell me what I should or should not eat. I now trust my body to tell me that, and I’ve learned it does an amazing job.
 
I eat when I’m hungry. I choose what will truly satisfy me. I recognize when eating any more would ruin the experience by making me physically uncomfortable. I deal with my emotions rather than numbing them. I trust God more than I trust food. And all of that has restored a sense of peace with food that I never thought would happen.
 
There are many benefits to finding peace with food. The scale is working it’s way down, and that is a great blessing. But by far, the greatest blessing is the mental and spiritual peace I feel as food has taken its proper role in my life. Gone are the days of having to rebuy Halloween candy because I ate it all before the 31st. Gone are the days of obsessing over what I am allowed to eat, how I will plan my whole week around that moment, and how I’ll handle the tremendous feelings of deprivation at every party. Gone are the Russian-Roulette moments of stepping on the scale to see if I am worthy of love or respect each day.
 
I’m so grateful for the miracle in my life of being able to turn From Food to Faith, and I love my work in helping others find the same peace with food. In the beginning, it is almost impossible for my clients to believe that finding peace with food is truly possible for them. Perhaps you have come to feel the same way. But I can assure you, once you commit to the process, you will begin to see that you are not doomed to a life of being obsessed with food. Just like me, you can find peace. And that’s no trick…just a most delicious treat!

​This weekend she brought with her a completely intact crab shell, legs and all, sharing with us what she learned about crab molting. I was fascinated, as I’d never known such a thing existed, and I quickly realized that I had some molting to do myself.
 
 Molting is the process of completely shedding ones outer layer, whether it be made of skin, feathers, hair…or in the case of crabs, a shell. I had seen molting in my experience with chickens, I have touched the discarded skin of snakes at the zoo, but I had no idea that crabs could somehow wiggle even their legs and tendons out of their crusty external shell. Nor did I know that unless they do so, they will suffocate and die, rather than continue to grow.
 
How many times in my life have I felt that I absolutely must change and grow, or I would suffocate and die? That raw and emotional place before one molts is a painful place to be. For me, it usually entails knowing I cannot live another minute in my current self, but not knowing if growth is even possible…not knowing if I have the courage or strength to break out of my old shell…and if I do, how will I survive the vulnerability of waiting for my new shell to harden before I am destroyed?
 
Is there a name for the emotional angst that comes with the need to molt? Google doesn’t seem to think so. Perhaps that is because for animals it is not an emotional issue. For us humans, there are words such as anxiety, emotional discord, and cognitive dissonance, but none of those words seem to capture the emotional torture and transformation that seems to be implied in the human process of molting.
 
I have felt the anxiety of a pending molt when I knew it was time to walk away from my abuser. I felt it when I knew I must care for my health but could never diet again. I have felt it any number of times when I’ve had to leave some of the ways of the world behind to free my spirit and grow. Each time I was miserable. Each time I was terrified. And each time it was worth it.
 
The moment you finally break free from your old shell and realize that you will never go back, is nothing short of liberating! It is like you can finally take a deep breath, bend your limbs, and move without restriction. And though it takes time for your sensitive exterior to toughen up, before long you find an increased level of peace and comfort in the world that you’d forgotten was possible.  You’ve molted!
 
In your newfound joy, don’t forget that as surely as the last molting was crucial to your growth, so too will be the next. So don’t be surprised when you find yourself starting to feel a little cramped in your new emotional living space.
 
Today, I pass on Laurel’s questions to you:
 
What do you need to shed?
Is it an old, outdated view of yourself? Is it resentment, fear, or shame? Are there habits you need to leave behind or new ones to adopt? Are there people holding you back or knowledge you desperately need?
 
How do you need God to help you?
I once tried to exercise my faith that if I prayed fervently enough, God would remove my extra pounds overnight. I say “tried” because neither God, nor I, were all that surprised when it was still there in the morning. I knew that God was willing to help me, but perhaps just not in the way I wanted at the time. God is the ultimate parent. He will do nothing for us that we can do for ourselves, though He knows there is plenty that we are not capable of at the moment, and He stands ready and willing to do the heavy lifting.
 
What do you need to do to fulfill your part?
In the Doctrine and Covenants we read, “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” Which blessing do you need? What are the natural laws you will have to obey in order to receive that blessing?
 
God gave me a vision of who I really was, a booster of spiritual strength, and internal peace about my decision, but I had to be the one to physically and emotionally walk away from my abuser. When we come to accept our part of the responsibilities for the growth we are seeking…when we are finally willing to obey the law upon which it is predicated, we will in fact receive the blessing.
 
It is time, as it often is, for me to molt. I’m grateful that our loving Heavenly Father is there to provide a vision of the next step, give me strength to break my old shell, and courage to be vulnerable as my new shell hardens. I am grateful, once again, for the process of molting.

​I must be the world’s worst plant owner. I do have plants, but my kids will tell you, don’t give me something that needs a lot of fussing. You’re bound to end up with sticks in dirt. For some reason, remembering to give it a little drink of water now and then just seems like an insurmountable task.
 
I do have one plant that I bought back in 1991 that is still alive, despite my multiple attempt to kill it with neglect. It has been brought back from the dead more times than people in the New Testament. I have literally left it in the garage until it was nothing more than a lonely stick in a pot of dust, and yet when my inner-scientist chose to begin throwing some water on it, it amazed us all with its ability to forgive…to bounce back…to survive. It has earned its rightful place in our home.
 
Perhaps my weakness with plants is God’s way of teaching me that when we water and nourish a thing, it grows. And when we neglect it…that’s right…it turns into the Sahara and withers away.  The same is true with habits…all habits…whether good or bad. That which we give our time and attention to grows. That which we ignore and leave unattended will dry up and disappear like last year’s reality show.
 
When we are striving to develop new habits in our lives, it can often seem daunting to give it the little bit of attention it may require. But ask yourself this? Which habits are you watering? And which habits are you neglecting? Every time you water an old habit that you would rather put in the compose bin, you keep it alive a little longer. And every time you nourish a new and improved habit, whose fruit you long to enjoy, you also keep it alive a little longer. With consistency of time and attention, the new habit will send roots deep into the earth, developing resiliency, absorbing more nutrients, and providing sweeter, more plentiful fruit.
 
And might I add that when we invite the Savior to join us in our efforts, He supplies us with the living water that can breathe life back into deadest of sticks. It’s as simple as that.  So…which habits will you water?

There are times in one's life, that change you forever. In my experience, these are not grandiose moments, worthy of media coverage. They are not noised to the world in any way. At least for me, they have been quiet, earth-shattering moments, that have changed my heart forever. And at those moments, no one in the world knew I was a different person forevermore...except for me. 

One such moment came when I was a freshman in college. I had been sexually abused by a teacher since midway through my 9th grade year and had been too weak...too naive...to afraid of abandonment to do anything about it. But as I grew and matured, and began finding my own voice, I knew I could not live another day as things were. It would change, or I would die trying. 

That was the first time I ever went to my bishop for help. I was beyond terrified. I feared my life, as I knew it, would end. But the misery I had lived with for four years compelled me to move forward...to do whatever it took. I cannot adequately describe what happened in that meeting. I was probably in his office for less than an hour. But when I walked outside of that church building and headed for my car, I was a changed human being. Completely and utterly changed. I felt peace I had not known in many years. I felt strength I didn't know was possible. And I knew that I would never allow myself to be taken advantage of again. 

In the October 1985 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, then-Elder Ezra Taft Benson made a statement that I surely didn't understand at the time, but in time would become one of my favorite quotes. Why? Because I lived it. He said, "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of the people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." (Ezra Taft Benson, Conference Report, October 1985, pp. 5-6)

Once I walked out of that church that night, I was never molested again. Why? It certainly wasn't because this teacher had changed. She had not. And she did all in her power to manipulate me for several months. Did it work? It did not. In fact, I was so strengthened by the Lord's spirit, that I was able to stand strong, even at steep costs. For the first time in my life, I was willing to stand 100% alone. 

How could my life be changed in one hour? How could I change from being completely manipulatable to standing like a rock? Because in that hour, I was filled with the knowledge of His love. I knew of my own worth. I saw a better life for myself. In short, the Lord took the slum out of Becky Ivory. After that, it was practically easy to take myself out of the slum. I knew I didn't belong there in the first place. My very nature had been changed. 

If you find yourself living in the slums of life, my best advise to you is to stop focusing on the outside, and let the Savior of the World begin to work on your from the inside out. Be willing to do whatever He asks, and I know that He will show you the light and brilliance and beauty that is you. He will take the slums out of you, and you, in turn, will find yourself with the strength, the courage, and the light, to finally take yourself out of the slums. 

Google estimates that there are 552,000 therapists in the United States. That seems about right, as I’ve kept a handful of them busy throughout my adulthood. I’m sure I’ve paid off more than one student loan in my quest to correct the thinking errors I accumulated throughout my life. Do I mind? Not at all. God bless therapists!
 
In all of my years sitting on office coaches, sometimes with a tissue in one hand and a notebook in the other, I’ve heard a lot of valuable words. Words like boundaries, transference, cognitive, and subconscious have become a part of my vocabulary. But by far, my most favorite word I’ve ever learned in therapy is next.
 
You see, no matter what has happened to you in your past…no matter what you’ve seen, heard, felt, or done, it is all in the past. This does not mean we cannot learn from it. Indeed, I believe it is crucial that we do in order to avoid repeating those patterns in the future. But it does not mean we have to continue to live in the past.
 
When old beliefs of failure, inadequacy, or powerlessness arise in our minds, we can simply recognize them, acknowledge that they are there, realize that those are feelings we used to feel and beliefs we used to believe, and then choose to move on to live the life that is before us now. Like a Broadway director sifting through singers in an audition, we can brush aside unwanted beliefs with a strong and resolute, “Next?”  
 
Because there is a “next”! Our past doesn’t have to equal our future. Being powerless as a child does not resign us to be powerless adults. Having dark, or lonely, or fearful chapters as the beginning of our story does not have to equal a sad and dismal ending? WE HAVE A CHOICE.
 
Perhaps it is time in your life to really look at the things that affected you in the past. Acknowledge that they are there…that they affected you…that they hurt and that you did not like them. It’s OK. The world won’t fall apart if you admit that your family wasn’t perfect…that you’ve made some big mistakes. Welcome to the world, my friend. All aboard! Then once you have made peace with your past, it is time to look toward the future, and declare what is perhaps the most beautiful word in the English language: “next?”

I’ve reached that age. You know…the age where you find yourself entering a room only to wonder what on earth am I doing here? The age where you forget the occasional birthday, or search for 10 minutes to find the phone…the same phone that you’ve been holding to your ear during the entire search. I don’t know if my occasional forgetfulness is a result of my natural blondeness, or a sign of aging, but I do know that it is a source of many amusing stories at our house.
 
A quick digital search of the scriptures shows that the word remember is used over 167 times in the Old Testament, 36 times in the New Testament, and more than 200 times in modern revelation found in the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. With this information, one has to ask, just what is it that the Lord is so concerned about us remembering? And why?
 
The other morning I was reading one of my favorite passages from Alma the Younger (Alma 36) and saw that it started with Alma encouraging his son Helaman to…you guessed it…remember.
“I would that ye should do as I have done, in remembering the captivity of our fathers….”
This plea to remember the captivity of our fathers appears many times in the scriptures. But why? Why would we dwell on the times when our ancestors were the most miserable…the times they struggled the most…when life just didn’t seem to be on their side? Shouldn’t we be more focused on the future? Or perhaps on the here-and-now? After all, we only have the present moment, right?
Luckily for us, Alma explains why we should always remember the captivity of our fathers as he continues: “…for they were in bondage, and none could deliver them except it was the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob; and he surely did deliver them in their afflictions.”
Alma’s charge to remember the captivity of our fathers is intended to help us remember that, though they were in the most dire of circumstances, God did not forget them. And when the timing was perfect, He did deliver them in the perfect place, and in the perfect way for them.
Imagine Moses and the Israelites backed up against the Red Sea, facing what appeared to be certain death, only to watch the seas part as they left their enemies behind. Imagine the woman who suffered with an issue of blood for many years, receiving immediate healing after exercising enough faith to simply touch the robe of Jesus. Imagine the face of a woman trapped in a life of sin and caught in the act of adultery, punishable by death, when she realizes that the Savior of the World has forgiven her and bids her sin no more.
 
God wants us to remember the captivity of our fathers so that we can remember that despite the dire circumstances they found themselves in, God did deliver them, and just as surely, He can deliver us.
In my life, I have experienced emotional bondage that lasted so long that I could not remember a time when I did not feel the shackles digging into my spiritual flesh. There have been heartaches so deep I was convinced there was no balm for my soul. There have been habits so entrenched that I felt doomed to a life of submission to practices that robbed me of joy. In short, I know, in my own way, what it means to be in bondage.
At those times, my study of the scriptures helped me hold onto my faith that this bondage was only temporary, and that despite the evidence to the contrary, God had not forgotten me. So I continued to work…to fight…to hold onto my faith.
Today, I can lift my voice with Alma in testifying that “…I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions and shall be lifted up at the last day.”
Just when I had come to the conclusion that I would have to learn to endure a life of anxiety, God gave me peace. When I feared I would never find the words to speak my truth, God restored my voice. When it seemed I would always be in the bonds of addiction, God blessed me with freedom.
Lest you think all of my problems are gone, let me assure you that there are plenty of prayers whose answers remain a mystery. But as I remember those who have come before me, and their miraculous stories of deliverance, I add them to the collection of stories that have become my own life. I remember that God is good, God is powerful, and God will continue to deliver me at just the right times and in the perfect ways, and I will yet have more stories to add to the Book of Life which is mine.
Why do we remember? We remember so that we can anticipate the hand of God to be revealed in our own lives. We look back so that we can look forward…not with fear, but with faith. In this way, we give ourselves the gift of remembering our way to faith.
 

​The Diving Bell Spider is the only species of spider to live almost entirely underwater. Though it is not amphibious, it rests, mates, catches and eats its prey, lays eggs and winters all under water.
How can it do this if it still needs to oxygen to live? Simple…ok…simple for her. She surfaces only long enough to trap oxygen in the fine hairs of her abdomen, and then stores that oxygen in an intricate silk web underwater. Each trip to the surface replenishes her supply and adds to her collection. In this self-made home-sweet-home, the Diving Bell Spider has learned to adapt to an environment normally hostile to survival to one such as her, but Bell…my hero…has found her own unique way.
In the quest to find peace from destructive behaviors and beliefs, there are naysayers everywhere. People come out of the woodwork to crush your dreams, or share their own stories of failure, as if you should “not get your hopes up too high.” We hear statistics on the number of people with eating disorders, failed business attempts, divorces, and relapses. It’s enough to make you tear down your web before you even start to weave it.
But Bell doesn’t listen to the killjoys of the surface. Instead, she makes her home in the depths of the impossible, where the neighbors are distant, the water is clean, and the fishing is fantastic.
I’ll be the first to admit that when I run up against obstacles, my first thoughts tend to resemble more of  the “I can’t” model. But, like my friend Bell, I’m here to tell you that it is possible to challenge those thoughts and turn them into powerful considerations of “how can I?”
We can fill our bubble with life-promoting oxygen, like spiritual strength, good people, and true principles, that will keep us going regardless of how threatening our surroundings may be. And, just like Bell, we must replenish those supplies continually…never assuming that we’ve arrived in some super-bubble state that will protect us for life. Thank you, Bell, for reminding me that we can live a life of success and significance, and that peace, like oxygen, must be cultivated and sought after, one breath at a time.