In a well-meaning effort to avoid financial cost, this company’s manager had unwittingly cost his company between $10-20,000 a year per employee in wasted productivity, simply because he was unwilling to change with the times.
Dinosaurs went extinct for a reason. Don’t be one. One of the essential leadership skills for every successful leader is the ability to be fearlessly agile. To be agile means to be able to think, understand, and move quickly. When a prospective client has a different vision for your partnership, when your HR team approaches you with an unforeseen problem, or even when you get a call from the high school principal that says, “we need to talk”, being able to think clearly, assess a situation, and find solutions on your feet will likely make the difference in your level of success. One of the ways to stay flexible in our ability to lead is by being clear on the principles that drive your decisions. Are you committed to not spending money on a new operating system, or are you committed to productivity? Are you clinging to the way you bill a client, or to adding value in all of your interactions? When we are focused on guiding principles, then we can be comfortable altering our practices while still remaining authentic to our purpose. One of my business clients was used to selling her services in a “piecemeal” fashion. When her top client began wanting more and more of her services, they found that cost was becoming an issue. Because the motivating principle for my client was to offer great value to her clients, while still honoring her own, she was able to offer this company a consulting contract that would work to both keep their costs down, and give her the stability she needed to give them her best work, while taking care of the needs of her own company. It was a win-win for everyone because she had developed fearless agility through our work together. Dinosaurs certainly had their place in this world, but you won’t see them leading in any modern-day pursuits. By developing great clarity on your leadership principles, you will have a strong axis around which you can tailor your practices to the needs at hand, and seeing within yourself the true leadership quality of fearless agility.
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 No amount of professional smiles could hide the terror I saw in my fellow public speakers, or felt in myself, when Sylvie di Giusto announced just what was coming next. We would spend the next 5 minutes walking around the room with a sheet of white sticky labels in one hand and a pen in the other, and purposely pass snap judgments on one another.
Sylvie had already done an expert job of explaining that first impressions are made in only 7 seconds and it was our turn to share our first impressions of our colleagues. As we approached someone, we quickly wrote the first word that came to our mind when we saw that person, peeled off the label, and placed it on their back, saving a measure of “face” for everyone involved. In 5 short minutes, we were left with a handful of literal and figurative “labels” to categorize and make sense of, and to ponder the sort of first impression we make on those we interact with each day. As nervous as we all were when we the assignment was first given, the exercise was relatively painless because, as Sylvie said, most of us lied. In other words, we are generally nice people and we chose the nice things we could say about the other person. The judgments made in the real world, however, are not so concerned with preserving social capital, and I couldn’t help but wonder what the unvarnished truth would look like for me. For me, one of the most telling parts of this experience was what raced through my own mind when I first realized what the nature of the exercise would be. “Will they see how insecure I feel today? This outfit makes me look frumpy. Will this be the moment they wonder how they ever let me in this amazing group?” Though fleeting, the thoughts were there and as I thought about them in the quiet moments since that evening, I have come to an eye-opening realization. As much as we wish to be “labeled” by others in positive ways, the labels we place on ourselves have a powerful effect on the way we present ourselves to others, and thus, have a strong effect on the labels others subsequently place upon us. When we label ourselves as “incompetent”, “over our heads” or “less than”, we create an emotional vibration that is hard to hide. That emotion may affect how we dress, how we carry ourselves, or whether we are able to be completely present when someone is speaking to us, rather than wondering if this skirt really was the right choice. Labeling is a game our brains are all wired to play…like it or not. But that doesn’t mean that a label cannot be changed. When a first impression is less than positive, Confirmation Bias, or the tendency for our brains to search for evidence that our initial impressions were correct, works against us. Not only do we seek to prove ourselves right, but we actually ignore signs that we may be wrong. This can be overcome only with a highly conscious effort to seek out the things we may be missing. The same is true when we try to change our own labels we have placed on ourselves. Do you fear you are incompetent? Spend time actively looking for the ways that you are competent. Are you really over your head? Or can you find examples in your past where you have taken on new challenges and come out on top? Feeling less than? Start giving yourself credit for the unique ways in which you contribute to the world. If you really feel you must label yourself, try on this label for size: You are unique, and talented. You have a gift to share that will make the world a better place to be. No one has your exact experiences or perspectives. No one has learned the same things you have learned in the way you have learned them. The world needs you. You are a divine creation of God. And that is the greatest label of all.
How many of us feel like we are “being changed”? Being changedmight feel like a very bad thing. Sometimes we wonder, “Why can’t people just love and accept me for who I am?” But what if deep inside, we knowthat we needto change. And despite our tough exteriors, we might even wantto change. We want to do, have, or be more, but we’re terrified of what kind of pain might be involved in that long, challenging process. And if we’re being absolutely honest with ourselves, many of us gave up long ago believing that change is even possible for us, so why even bother?
Whether change happens voluntarily or involuntarily, when we embrace the process of change, we become more resilient. As I teach my clients, the pain we’ve been trying to avoid can actually be the path to peace. Rather than being something we fear, change can be an exciting journey to letting go of the old patterns in our lives that don’t serve us well, and actually finding the peace we’ve only dreamt about before now. If you find yourself resisting the process of change, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the reasons you are in the process at all. Does someone else want you to change? Are outward circumstances putting on the pressure? Perhaps it’s time to sit down and make a new list of the reasons that you want to change.
Choosing to Change is one of the most powerful decisions you’ll ever make. It transforms the impossible into the possible. It puts purpose behind the problems. It helps you continue to put one foot in front of the other day after day, protecting you from becoming one of the 62% who are too afraid of leaving their comfort zone. Yes, change isn’t just for politicians anymore. It’s for you, and if you will make the decision and choose to changethe world will be a whole lot more peaceful for you, regardless of what the politicians or partners are doing. So take a deep breath, lift up your head, and choose change.
However, if I take this rock and throw it into a river it can literally be transformed into something absolutely beautiful.
Change takes time. Without a doubt, one of the first questions I get when a client comes to me to help them through change is, “How long is this going to take?” It is then that I pull out one of my beautiful polished rocks and help them understand that there are 3 things that determine how quickly a rock will get polished when thrown into a river. First, how hard is the rock? The harder the rock, the more difficult change is going to be. A hard rock resists change, but a soft rock will allow the ebb and flow of the water to knock its edges off more easily. It’s transformation is not only quicker, but the flow of the water becomes less painful as it has less and less resistance from the rock. Are you a hard rock? Or a soft one? The second thing that determines how quickly a rock will be transformed in a river deals with how rough is the water? When we live in calm, placid waters, not a lot of change takes place. It is when the waters get rough and high that we find ourselves getting the rough edges taken down noticeably. So when you find yourself cursing the high waters you seem to be living in, take a moment and express gratitude for the very power that is causing positive change in your life. The third thing that determines the rate of change is the length of time the rock stays in the water. Often, people saythey want to change, but when they realize that the water can at times be rough and cold, they find themselves scrambling, once again, for dry land. As understandable as this is, we won’t find transformation on the shores. Transformation only happens in the water. This week, try asking yourself,
Embracing the process of change is the fastest way to doing, having, or being more, and I’m grateful to be on the front lines, watching your true colors and beauty shining through!
That’s it. Prepare, challenge the lies, determine your action steps, and evaluate your experience by measuring its level of success. NOW it’s time to start creating PLAYS of your own.
I am looking forward to those of you who registered for this week’s Sample From Food to Faith Group Meetings. The first one is THIS MORNING at 10am MST. The second one will be THIS THURSDAY evening at 5pm MST. On this live video meeting, you will:
If you wish to register, it’s not too late! Click HERE. I look forward to literally seeing you soon! Your friend, Becky
John turned their story into s 30 minute film, accompanied by a short book, and the Fish! philosophy was born. The first step in the Fish! philosophy is Choose Your Attitude. This step can seem as if we are putting on rose-colored glasses and simply ignoring the difficult things in life. No doubt, there is a lot of “stuff” in our lives that threaten to weigh us down. We deal with depression or anxiety, divorces and bankruptcy, difficult relationships and health problems. We are always going to have “stuff”, but this is the way to rise above the “stuff” and find joy and peace in your life in spite of it. In 2008, the world faced a terrible financial crisis that affected untold millions. And yet, life went on. Along with banks collapsing, foreclosures, divorces and deaths, there were also babies being born, bar mitzvahs held, and companies thriving. And in all of that, the only power you and I could never lose was our power to choose our own attitude. It has been proven over and over again that it takes a positive attitude to achieve positive results. When we choose to manage our attitude to look at what is going right, we are able to see our full circumstances more clearly, and see the pathway to improvement and possibility. When we choose to look at things in a more positive way, it gives permission to the people around us to do the same, and pretty soon, we have a team of people who are primed to create positive change out of whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. As Helen Keller pointed out, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” Determine today that from this day forward, you will carefully choose your attitude. Bring fish to your organization
Next week, we’ll touch on the importance of simply being there.
If you’d like to implement the Fish! Philosophy in your organization, call me for a free quote.
As a leadership trainer, I love helping organizations and people recognize the power they have over their own happiness, not to mention the influence they can have on their influence over others. One of my favorite ways to teach this lesson is by sharing the famous Fish! Philosophy.
The four simple principles of the Fish! Philosophy can change any person…any organization…from one of apathy and boredom, to one of excitement, energy and joy! And it can happen faster than you think. The Fish! Philosophy was developed by the Seattle Pike Place Fish market. These fish mongers had a sweaty, dirty job, repetitive day after day. Like all the surrounding fish markets, the atmosphere had become draining. There was no energy and the employees could hardly wait to leave work each day. But one day, they realized that it didn’t have to be that way. They could choose to make their fish market world famous, and turn those same hard-working jobs, into meaningful opportunities to serve others, all while having a wonderful time themselves. Over the next four weeks, we’ll discuss the four principles of the Fish! Philosophy: 1. Choose Your Attitude. 2. Be there. 3. Make their day. 4. Play. You may wonder, what does the Fish! Philosophy have to do with me? Good question! Do you want to have more energy? Do you want to enjoy your work? Do you want to create better connections with those around you? Would you like to increase your influence with your family, friends and coworkers? Would you like your challenges to fly by with fun and excitement? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to learn about…and embrace…the philosophy that has enhanced 80% of Fortune 500 companies. If you’re ready to take your life, or the life of your organization, it’s time to go Fish! Bring Fish! to your organization
In four one-hour sessions, Becky can help transform your company culture, and help your team make their work – and their lives – more positive and productive.
 Carson had been trying to learn to ride his bike for a solid year without success. He was terrified. And the more he fell, the more terrified he became. He got to where he would give up quickly out of frustration, but he really wanted to learn, so he never gave up.
One day we took the family camping and brought our bikes along. He once again gathered the courage to try his bike so I strapped on his helmet and protective knee, elbow and wrist pads and Ken took him to the top of the gentle hill where we were camped. Our hoots and hollers could be heard throughout the camp when he was able to keep his balance and pedal his way all the way to the bottom of the hill! We were so happy for him! As he rode past me for another attempt, he turned to me and said, “Mom, do you know how I knew that today would be the day I could finally ride by bike? I heard the winds of change! Change. We want it. We fear it. We vote for it. We avoid it. So how do we make it actually happen? Often, we find ourselves walking down a path that we really don’t want to go, but somehow we don’t seem to be able to stop ourselves. We overreact to a negative comment by a spouse or coworker; we procrastinate a project; we ignore our bodies when they tell us they are full; we avoid the conversations that could heal hearts. There are hundreds of entrances to this well-worn path, and we feel drawn to walk down it for the thousandth time, despite the fact that it leads to only one destination…misery. Paths are created when we choose to take the same route to a given destination, over and over again. The more we walk the path, the easier it is. The grass and weeds give up their fight, the ground becomes hardened as it packs down beneath our feet, and it becomes ever so much easier to find. The interesting thing about paths is that they are also easily destroyed. The best way to destroy a path is to leave it alone. This can be terribly hard to do. We like paths that feel familiar and safe to us, even if we aren’t that thrilled with their destination. To choose a new path can feel scary. The brush can be prickly and intimidating, the way may be strewn with numerous chances to stumble, and the destination may not be guaranteed. But one thing is certain: if we do not want to end up in the same destination, we must be committed to choosing a new path. The good news is that every time we choose to ignore the siren song of the old pathway, we give Mother Nature another day to take it back for herself. The grass and weeds begin to claim their old territory, and after some time, we will scarce be able to recognize it as what once was our favorite place to stroll. As our new path becomes more familiar and comfortable to travel, we will pass by those old pathways with nary a glance, as nature will have mercifully turned it into nothing more than a story of what used to be.
“First, you must climb up this telephone pole using nothing but the metal spikes hammered into the side,” our perky hosts announced. Once we arrived at the top, we were then expected to shimmy across another telephone pole, this one lying so high that the birds wondered why we were crowding in on their territory. For the women brave enough to get that far, we could fly like those birds on a zip line, safely back to planet earth.
I was not one of those women. Significantly overweight, I did not know if I could climb the first pole, and I was certain I did not want my friends on the ground to be staring at my harness-laden behind as I ascended, so I took the coward’s way out and relegated myself as the cheerleading squad. They flew like birds. I clipped my own wings and stayed on the ground. This overnight retreat had gathered together a great bunch of women, mostly in their 30’s and 40’s…all except one: Janet. Janet was the age of my mother, and could have been the grandmother to some of the new moms in the crowd. But that didn’t stop her from being one of the first to throw on the harness and climb that pole like a pro. I’ll never forget her jumping into mid-air, enjoying every minute of the ride back to solid ground. It was the first time I ever met Janet, and I learned quickly that I wanted to be just like her. As the years went by, I continued to watch Janet. She valued her health and stayed very physically active. She was not immune to the challenges of life but she never let outward circumstances dictate her happiness. She loved her family. She showed up to every church and community activity, and made friends with anyone and everyone. She was one of the healthiest, happiest people I’ve known. I last saw her not long ago and she was as vibrant and happy as ever, so it came as a shock when I discovered she had died unexpectedly. My first reaction was one of shock and sadness, but then a smile spread across my face. “Go, Janet!” was all I could think. “You did it!” There is a saying in the Christian world that asks, “What would Jesus do?” It is meant to help us measure our own actions against the loving characteristics of Christ and inspire us to do better. This past week, the phrase, “what would Janet do” has come into my mind several times when I am faced with taking the stairs or the elevator…staying home or heading out to socialize…choosing to be angry or exchanging my grumpiness for a smile. You see, Janet taught me that happiness is a choice. If I want to become an elderly woman who can walk and drive and climb telephone poles, I have to walk and drive and climb telephone poles now. If I want to become an elderly woman who makes lots of friends, is involved in my community, and finds happiness in each simple day, then I must invest myself in making friends, in my community, and in finding happiness in each simple day now. Janet has taught me that it is the little choices we make daily that will determine whether we get stuck on the ground or overcome our challenges and fly with the birds. Booking Speaking Engagements for 2019
Do you want to help your organization develop a greater connections, increase confidence and eliminate fear? Becky Ivory is now booking for speaking engagements in 2019. Contact Becky to learn how she can add value to your organization.
Little Carson quickly piped up, “Not to talk!”
Sometimes, we can be surrounded by truth and still miss the message. I'm afraid that when it came to developing a healthy relationship with food, I spent years in the movie, but mistakenly thought the point was to learn to keep my mouth shut. I had been on one diet or another for nearly 30 years, dieting my way UP 127 pounds, but still believed that happiness was just around the corner if I could just shut my mouth and stop using food like a drug. What I didn't realize is that I was missing the entire point of the movie. Once I got a good coach, I began to understand that the point of this "movie" is not just to stop overeating or reach a certain size, but it is to recognize and change our weaknesses and false beliefs that caused the pain we have been numbing with food all of these years. That was when I truly started to make progress. I began working to overcome my fears, my false beliefs, and replace them with truth. I began to recognize my worth, challenge my insecurities, and before long I was experiencing moments of peace that I had only dreamed about before. Over time I developed greater consistency, and thus, greater results. I continue to work this day to overcome fears that arise, and I still have to challenge old beliefs when they pop up, but today, I look forward to it because I have developed greater faith in the process, faith in the Lord, and faith in myself. The great thing is, once you learn to pay attention to the movie, you don't have to struggle not to talk through it anymore. You don't want to talk...you're too busy experiencing it...learning from it...being changed by it. Once you have been changed by it, you will want to invite others to the movie and help them be profoundly changed by it as well. After all, this one's a blockbuster! |
AuthorAfter decades of my life being centered around food, I finally started to realize that I did not have a food management problem. In all actuality, I had an emotion management problem. - Becky Ivory Archives (August 2018-Present)
September 2021
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