Becky Ivory is still booking speaking engagements for 2019
Do you want to help your organization develop a greater connections, increase  confidence and eliminate fear? Becky Ivory is now booking for speaking engagements in 2019. Contact Becky to learn how she can add value to your organization. 

​When taking pictures of a baby, try getting down on their level to see things as they do. When taking a picture of flowers, try focusing in on just one flower, or better yet, a recurring pattern within the leaves. Realtors know that an aerial view of a yard can be much more attractive than one from the typical eye-level.
 
I have learned that the same can be true about life.
 
By the time you have circled the sun a few decades, it can be hard to remember that your perspective on life is not the only possible view. We think we know people, situations and things. We predict what will happen at work. We mind-read our loved ones. We decide what is possible based on what we believe has “always been”.
 
What would happen if you spent just a moment looking at your life from a different view? What does it look like through the eyes of your child or parent? What might you attempt if you had never failed before? Is there beauty in the individual pieces of your life that you have missed in an effort to fix the whole?
 
A good coach is trained to help you view the challenges of your life differently…in a way that can help you see and access their possibility and potential…and help you use those challenges to bring greater significance and beauty to the life you live.
 
Before you give up on your dream…before you settle for the everyday picture, do yourself a favor and get a new perspective. 

​Do you want to help your organization develop a greater connections, increase  confidence and eliminate fear? Becky Ivory is now booking for speaking engagements in 2019. Contact Becky to learn how she can add value to your organization. 

​The grade-school boy had the heart of an entrepreneur as he lugged a pile of outdated calendars into the classroom, looking for someone with something to trade. He was in luck. The little girl had brought in an authentic 1887 silver dollar for show-and-tell and he was in love…not with the little girl, but with the silver dollar.
 
To this day, my husband often wonders what that little girl’s parents said when she excitedly arrived home that night, excited about the beautiful pictures on her 2 outdated calendars, not worth the paper they were printed on, and no silver dollar in sight. He, however, still owns that 1887 silver dollar and uses it to teach a valuable lesson: are you investing in the things that matter?
 
What do you value? If you took just 60 seconds right now (and I suggest you do) to list just the things you value most in life, what would the list look like? Family? Relationships? Peace? God? Health? I imagine many of our lists would look similar. Now, let’s find out if you really value these things as much as you believe.
 
Paul Martinelli always says, “If you want to know what people value, check their datebook and their checkbook.” It’s true. Take a moment and look at the last 30 days on your calendar, and the last 30 days of your expenses for evidence that you truly do value those things.  If a jury had only your calendar and your bank statements as evidence, would they be able to convict you of loving your family, taking care of your health, or worshipping God?
 
It’s all too easy to give lip service to the things of great value, but be side-tracked on a day-to-day basis by the colorful pictures that promise us immediate gratification, only to realize down the road that we have lost what really mattered.
 
Today is the time to stop buying into the lies that have been holding you back, and invest in the bright future of significance and fulfillment that you have always wanted. The choice is yours. Today, you can choose to invest in what matters. 

​“First, you must climb up this telephone pole using nothing but the metal spikes hammered into the side,” our perky hosts announced. Once we arrived at the top, we were then expected to shimmy across another telephone pole, this one lying so high that the birds wondered why we were crowding in on their territory. For the women brave enough to get that far, we could fly like those birds on a zip line, safely back to planet earth.
 
I was not one of those women.
 
Significantly overweight, I did not know if I could climb the first pole, and I was certain I did not want my friends on the ground to be staring at my harness-laden behind as I ascended, so I took the coward’s way out and relegated myself as the cheerleading squad. They flew like birds. I clipped my own wings and stayed on the ground.
 
This overnight retreat had gathered together a great bunch of women, mostly in their 30’s and 40’s…all except one: Janet.
 
Janet was the age of my mother, and could have been the grandmother to some of the new moms in the crowd. But that didn’t stop her from being one of the first to throw on the harness and climb that pole like a pro. I’ll never forget her jumping into mid-air, enjoying every minute of the ride back to solid ground. It was the first time I ever met Janet, and I learned quickly that I wanted to be just like her.
 
As the years went by, I continued to watch Janet. She valued her health and stayed very physically active. She was not immune to the challenges of life but she never let outward circumstances dictate her happiness. She loved her family. She showed up to every church and community activity, and made friends with anyone and everyone. She was one of the healthiest, happiest people I’ve known.
 
I last saw her not long ago and she was as vibrant and happy as ever, so it came as a shock when I discovered she had died unexpectedly. My first reaction was one of shock and sadness, but then a smile spread across my face. “Go, Janet!” was all I could think. “You did it!”
 
There is a saying in the Christian world that asks, “What would Jesus do?” It is meant to help us measure our own actions against the loving characteristics of Christ and inspire us to do better. This past week, the phrase, “what would Janet do” has come into my mind several times when I am faced with taking the stairs or the elevator…staying home or heading out to socialize…choosing to be angry or exchanging my grumpiness for a smile.
 
You see, Janet taught me that happiness is a choice. If I want to become an elderly woman who can walk and drive and climb telephone poles, I have to walk and drive and climb telephone poles now. If I want to become an elderly woman who makes lots of friends, is involved in my community, and finds happiness in each simple day, then I must invest myself in making friends, in my community, and in finding happiness in each simple day now. Janet has taught me that it is the little choices we make daily that will determine whether we get stuck on the ground or overcome our challenges and fly with the birds. 

​Do you want to help your organization develop a greater connections, increase  confidence and eliminate fear? Becky Ivory is now booking for speaking engagements in 2019. Contact Becky to learn how she can add value to your organization. 

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.

​
This week I pray that your storms will help you to grow tall and straight, strong and sure. If your troubles feel like strong wind, drenching rain, bitter snow or blistering sun, you are in the company of great men and women from all generations of time, who allowed the challenges of life to transform them into the great patriarchs and matriarchs that now offer strength to us. 

​Imagine a scenario where you have walked into your local high school and as you are headed in to do whatever you came for, you hear a commotion behind you and realize that a man with a ski mask and a gun has come into the school.
 
At that moment, how would you feel? Afraid? Protective? Why would you feel that way? No doubt, our imaginations would have been running rampant as we imagined what might happen next. Would we be another horror story on the news? Would we die? Are we helpless? These are all normal ways for the mind to think. But our imaginations dictate our feelings as a result.
 
Now return to the imagined scenario and pretend that the school policeman just happens to be right behind the man when he enters, and quickly throws his arms around the perpetrator, throwing him to the ground. In the process, you hear one explosive, ear-splitting shot as the gun goes off. You feel a searing pain and realize you have been shot......................in the foot.
 
When we add the three words, "in the foot", everyone begins to laugh. Why? Because when you imagine getting shot, you picture the worst: the head, the heart, a vital organ. But getting shot in the foot is not the worst thing in the world. Some surgery, weeks of rest and you'll likely be good as new.
 
Dr. Jenkins goes on to explain that whenever we are dealing with "what is", we have a tendency to focus on what could have been, or what could be next. And the way we approach those questions will determine whether we suffer from anxiety and depression or gratitude and peace. For example, some people would go around complaining to the world about how awful it is to be shot in the foot and all of the things they can't do for several weeks. They will feel frustrated and perhaps angry, robbing themselves of happiness and peace.
 
Others would look at the situation and realize that it could have ended far worse. They could be dead. The shooter could have killed many people. The stray bullet could have lodged in some vital organ causing massive damage that would affect the rest of their lives. To these people, getting shot in the foot is a blessing. Even the fact that they were shot and not others can be a great source of comfort to those who are searching for the angle of gratitude in the situation.
 
Attitude is everything. And realizing that any situation in our lives could always be worse and focusing on the positive aspects of our situations produces actual hormones in the brain that cause peace and contentment with life the way it is. The foot will still hurt. We may still find ourselves with difficulties we didn't choose and don't want, but our general outlook of positivity will help us to move forward in a productive way, learning from the situation and becoming better by it.
 
On this Thanksgiving week, I share with you what Dr. Jenkins calls the Gratitude Triple Play. If you want to develop your gratitude, list three things you are grateful for in your life, however two of those things have to come from situations that are a real challenge for you.  The idea is that anyone can be grateful when everything is going the way they want them to, but to look for the things we are grateful for in the midst of trial and adversity is a powerful way to choose happiness and peace in our daily lives.
 
Let us choose not only a “Happy Thanksgiving”, but a happier life as well, by practicing our Gratitude Triple Play this holiday season, and every season thereafter. 

​Meet Rugby!
 
Rugby is a mixed breed known as a Bernedoodle. His mother was a Bernese Mountain Dog and his father, a Miniature Poodle.
 
Rugby is the most adorable ball of fluff you've ever seen. People stop us all the time to tell us, "He looks just like a stuffed animal!" And he does. He loves to play, adores contact with people, thrives on playtime at the dog park.
 
When you mix two breeds, you take your chances on which traits the pup will inherit. One of the physical traits Rugby inherited from his mother is the Bernese Mountain Dog fur which is silky soft and water resistant. From his father, he inherited the curl of a poodle and the blessing that he also doesn't shed -- a must for someone allergy-ridden like me.

​The similarities to his parents don’t stop at his appearance. One of the behavioral traits he inherited from his mother is the tendency to chew on wood. (Who knew that was an inherited trait, right?) This can be very annoying when you have lined your yard in trees or filled your flower beds with wood bark. As a puppy, he loved to get a good hunk of wood and shred it all over the grass (if we were lucky) or the carpet (if we weren’t). From his father, he inherited a tendency to bark at people when they come to the door.
 
All of us have traits we have inherited from those who came before us, whether by DNA or the conditioning that we learned in our youth. Sometimes those traits are like soft fur that we cherish and enjoy. Other times, they resemble tendencies that call our name like a juicy piece of wood in the backyard...pieces of ourselves that we try to ignore or wish would go away.
 
For example, did you learn from your parents to love and forgive others? To embrace people and build them up? Or did you perhaps inherit an attitude of picking and choosing who deserves love or mercy? Did you inherit a positive self-esteem that made you feel you could conquer anything? Or did you absorb traits of fear and timidity? Did you inherit an attitude of faith and possibility? Or one of skepticism and doubt? Did you learn to face your challenges with faith and optimism? Or with a handful of Oreos and a box of tissues?
 
The truth is, regardless of the situation in which you were raised, you likely learned some things that you will want to hang onto and pass onto your own children, as well as things that you struggle to overcome. How do I know this? Because you are human. You families were human. The good news is that choosing the life you want to lead…in spite of your conditioning…is the birthright of all of God’s children.
 
It's true that we are heavily affected by both the literal and environmental genes we grow up with, and though we can't change the height of our stature (see Luke 12:25) or the texture of our hair, we can change our attitudes, our beliefs, our actions. And the reason we can do this is because God made us each agents unto ourselves. That means that, as adults, we cannot blame anyone or anything for our own thoughts, words and actions.
 
On the door leading to our garage, I have two magnets. One reads:
"Whether your life is happy or not, is your own choice" - Nick Vuyicic
The other:
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." – Thoreau
 
These two magnets represent one of the greatest lesson I have learned on my path of intuitive eating, and that is that I have complete control over my own life.
 
We loved and adored Rugby when he was a rambunctious puppy, but that didn't mean we were content to let him chew up our trees or bark at guests just because his genetic conditioning told him to. With time, patience, and practice, he was able to learn that wood was not one of the basic 4 food groups, and that guests enjoy him much more when they are not afraid of him. We taught him these things because we want him to be happy, and he will be happiest when he is healthy and has a positive relationship with those he comes in contact with each and every day.
 
I'm grateful for all of the positive things that have been passed down to me in my own genetics and conditioning, and I am deeply grateful that I can choose to overcome any conditioning of my past that does not serve me. I am striving to improve upon the life I was given, just as I hope my children are working to improve what was handed down to them. (Good luck, Kids!)
 
The truth is, none of us will be able to overcome the conditioning of our past if we leave it up to chance. Those decisions will have to be made through conscious choice. Each and every day you have the choice to leave your future up to the conditioning and external circumstances you find yourself in, or to choose your own pathway to happiness.
 
So…what will it be? Chance…or choice?

​Little Carson quickly piped up, “Not to talk!”
 
Sometimes, we can be surrounded by truth and still miss the message. I'm afraid that when it came to developing a healthy relationship with food, I spent years in the movie, but mistakenly thought the point was to learn to keep my mouth shut.
 
I had been on one diet or another for nearly 30 years, dieting my way UP 127 pounds, but still believed that happiness was just around the corner if I could just shut my mouth and stop using food like a drug. What I didn't realize is that I was missing the entire point of the movie.
 
Once I got a good coach, I began to understand that the point of this "movie" is not just to stop overeating or reach a certain size, but it is to recognize and change our weaknesses and false beliefs that caused the pain we have been numbing with food all of these years.
 
 
That was when I truly started to make progress. I began working to overcome my fears, my false beliefs, and replace them with truth. I began to recognize my worth, challenge my insecurities, and before long I was experiencing moments of peace that I had only dreamed about before.
 
Over time I developed greater consistency, and thus, greater results. I continue to work this day to overcome fears that arise, and I still have to challenge old beliefs when they pop up, but today, I look forward to it because I have developed greater faith in the process, faith in the Lord, and faith in myself.
 
The great thing is, once you learn to pay attention to the movie, you don't have to struggle not to talk through it anymore. You don't want to talk...you're too busy experiencing it...learning from it...being changed by it. Once you have been changed by it, you will want to invite others to the movie and help them be profoundly changed by it as well. After all, this one's a blockbuster!

In an effort to convince others and ourselves that we have it all together, we have forgotten that no one on the planet truly has it all together. Cakes fall, cards get messed up, and children fight. But in truth, the cake still tastes delicious, the birthday cards are thrown away, and children make up.
 
Life is about progress, not perfection. It’s about the messy everyday ways we deal with the craziness of our lives, not about the family photo. It’s about the fact that we never stop cooking, even if it's not the perfect dish. ​

My mother had returned to the states and my husband to work and I began to wonder if God had made a gigantic mistake by entrusting this amazing child to my care. I had no idea what I was doing, and this beautiful baby made that clear with her endless crying that she too was seeking someone more skilled than me.
 
The Japanese are incredibly generous people, and when someone has a baby, it is common to send gifts such as honeydew melon or cheesecake. At the time, I much preferred cheesecake, and I was not disappointed. However, the anxiety that came with the belief that I was an inept mother sent me running to food to calm my fears multiple times a day. And having a seemingly endless supply of cheesecake may not have been the best idea.
 
One morning, while pacing the tiny apartment with this screaming infant in my arms, my mind kept looking at the cheesecake delivered the day before. Ken and I had eaten two pieces of it after dinner and now the other 14 pieces were calling my name, like the siren-song that would bring me peace. But how can I eat more without Ken knowing about it? The struggle was on.
 
Soon, however, the cheesecake gods sent another cheesecake to the door…one that Ken knew nothing about. Driven by pure anxiety, I dove into yesterday’s cheesecake. You know the old saying, “First a sliver, then a slice, then a slab, then a slob.” And before I knew it, I had eaten the entire cheesecake from the night before, AND two more pieces out of the new cheesecake to make it appear like it was yesterday’s cheesecake. Putting the wrapping in the outside bin, I prayed that Ken would be none the wiser.
 
Now physically sick and emotionally numb, I put a smile on my face when Ken got home, handed him the still-screaming baby, and promised myself once again that “this would be the last time”, still convinced that no one would ever know.
 
The funny thing is, I have learned that the cheesecake always shows. It surely showed up on my backside. It showed up in the internal pressure I felt from my secrecy and dishonesty. It showed up when it made it just that much easier to binge the next time. It showed up every moment of every day as I knew in my heart that I was not being true to the person I really was. My body suffered, my spirit suffered, and my self-respect suffered.